Let’s Try This Again…
1) My urethra hurts.
2) I’m scared of snakes.
3) Please don’t call me Lance anymore.
4) I can’t have my photo on your website.
The above is a sample of the various text messages that I received today. I disregarded 75% of these messages, but for legal reasons I did pay attention to #4. For a brief minute today, there was a different post on this site using these photos. The man on the far right was actually shown and identified by name, but he texted me to tell me that he would prefer that he not be shown on the site.
So I mashed the crop button, cut the unnamed man out of the photos, and gave the other two the glory that they deserve:
If anyone else wants to get bent out of shape about not having their photos on the site because they are trying to get funding for a Turkish bathhouse that they are trying to get up and running in Charleston, please email me and I will send you a liter of Clamato, and take your photos off the site:
July 31st, 2008 at 12:24 am
I know who it was. Send me $10000000 in unmarked fives and tens and I won’t tell.
July 31st, 2008 at 9:19 am
I’ll send you a photocopy of cat’s vulva, will that work?
July 31st, 2008 at 2:31 pm
You should have just covered the face with a big blue circle… or a whynatte crest.
July 31st, 2008 at 2:35 pm
I’m about as good at photoshop as I am at following the Koran. In other words, not very good.
July 31st, 2008 at 6:07 pm
After spending a few hours on the police scanner this evening….judging by the hight, skin tone, sex, nose and lack of arm tattoos or hair, not to mention the most revealing trait…missing eye brows. I have narrowed it down to Charlie Villanoava, Joe “the police man” from that episode of What’s Happening, and Coronal Mustard.
As for the weapon and location of the murder, I am still unclear.
August 1st, 2008 at 5:12 pm
big mikey, good analysis, but how are you so quick to rule out the Rev. Desmond Tutu?