WHYNATTE

So I’m sitting in my office, getting my daily fix of Greco-Roman pornography, and the following email and photos arrive in my inbox:
“Dear Whynatte,
Here are the much awaited pictures of the Jager Bombshell doing her first ever Whynatte. Popping her Whynatte cherry, if you will. Joining me on this momentous occasion is my [...]

I don’t know, is having strong bones bad for you?

Is having soft skin, and nice healthy hair, bad for you?

Is protecting against colon cancer bad for you?

A brief recap, primarily in numbers and ratios, of the party that Whynatte threw this past Saturday:
Level of latte in the 200 Whynatte urn that we brought with us: Full.
Amount of latte that spilled from urn onto the leather seats of my car: A lot.
Difficulty in transporting a full hot urn of latte across the [...]

We received an email that asked the following:
“Dear Whynatte,
What does it look like when 3 attractive women, one wearing a denim jacket, and one wearing a black and white kimono type dress, drink a Whynatte?
Yours truly,
Melvin”
Funny you should ask, Melvin. It looks something like this:

As many of you know, Whynatte normally hosts underground Hip-Hop and Whynattes, each and every Thursday night at El Bar.
As many of you don’t know, The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is “uncopyrightable”.
But I digress. The point being that this past Thursday, Whynatte night at El Bar was [...]

It’s safe to say that I took Bed Bath and Beyond by storm this morning, nearly buying them out of incense, velvet throw pillows, and rosemary scented candles. Was I hosting a Greek style orgy? Close. The truth of the matter is that Andy and I spent the entire morning constructing a [...]

People have been telling me a lot of fibs lately. Of note, I have recently been told the following promises by unnamed people, all of which turned out to be of suspect validity:
-”I will take a photo of myself drinking a Whynatte”
-”I will send you the photo of myself drinking a Whynatte”
-”Electric eels are [...]

It turns out Ponce De Leon was way off track: the fountain of youth was to be found flowing from a coffee urn and a bottle of Jager.
The experts tell us that in developmental psych, the term “parallel play” signifies the manner in which young children, typically under 3 years old, play alone - in [...]

Once again, Whynatte’s latte urn was the hit of the party.
So it’s more girl on urn action you say you want? Feast your eyes on this:

DJ’s love the way Whynatte helps them with the urntables.

“The shine coming off that urn…it’s so bright I can hardly see!”

If you’re in Atlanta, there is absolutely no excuse.
If you’re in Pakistan, there are many excuses.

This Andy Saxon kid is as elusive as a bald eagle. Trying to catch this kid on camera is like trying to grab a squirrel monkey bare-handed; I’ve done it, but it’s not easy.
Andy keeps talking something along the lines of, ‘if I’m caught on that site I’ll never get into law school”. [...]

1) It’s your birthday, you were born on Valentine’s Day, your parents had the good sense to name you Elizabeth, and you’ve got 4 perfectly prepared Whynattes planted before you;

2) You’re drinking Whynattes with your good friends Mike, Bret, and Danielle, and your friend Danielle is giving the camera her patented “pour that hot latte [...]

Kate and Craig make excuses to throw a dinner party like you make excuses for that crusty issue of Latin Inches that you “accidentally” had sandwiched between the mattresses of your bed.  Which is to say that Kate and Craig do not have anything to do with Hispanic pornography, but have everything to do with throwing [...]

For some reason, everyone closes their eyes when they drink a Whynatte for the first time.
For some reason, I forgot both of these guy’s names immediately after they told them to me.
Coincidence? Nope. Crazy shit like this is nothing more than a routine day here at Whynatte.

Whynatte put the “brunswick” into “brunswick stew” this past Thursday at El Bar.
See for yourself: