WHYNATTE

Let me tell you a story.
It’s dad’s 60th birthday, and the entire family seems to have forgotten that it’s a special occasion. The entire day seems to be passing by unnoticed. Dad has been quietly thinking to himself how much he has done for these ungrateful wildebeasts that he calls “family”. Nobody [...]

Please consider the following questions:
-Do you have arms that are flimsy like the tentacles of an octopus?
-Is your hand eye coordination akin to that of a Native American war chieftan at a peyote ceromy?
-Are your palms greasy like the pistons on a ‘93 Daihatsu Charade?
If you answered yes to any of the question [...]

The only thing that college girls enjoy more than surfing Facebook, while wearing a lace camisole, is spending their summer interning for Whynatte.
Which is rather convenient, because the only thing we enjoy more than unicorn screenprints, are hot college interns.
Check out our newest crop of candidates, as they endure a rigorous interview for the position [...]

Things that Whynatte sponsors:
1) Sleeping in the carcass of a freshly slain Yak.
2) Not wearing sunscreen.
3) The unsolicited wearing of wigs.
4) Jodeci style fades.
5) Intramural soccer teams.
Do you want Whynatte to sponsor your team? Email us, and make a good case. Not just your run of the mill misdemeanor case, but you better [...]

Have you ever found yourself wondering how whynatte.com manages to receive such a steady influx of whynatte-related photos and streaming video from the loyal masses?
Here’s the secret:
In at least 80 percent of the photos that appear on this site, Jesse — the Whynatte President and CEO himself — is standing just out of view [...]

The Whynatte life is not always glamorous, yet sometimes there is beauty in the mundane (not really). Sure, there are many yachts and purebred saber cats in our day to day lives (like over 50, on average), but we’re living life on the top of the pyramid (see: scheme, pyramid). That’s how the [...]

You try dealing with a newborn clutch of baboon and running this Whynatte website at the same time.

We’ve been recieving a few emails lately, all questioning whether or not we’re actually using hot lattes in our Whynattes. I suppose that with all success comes those that will naturally act as detractors.
The jist of these emails is basically the same, but here is a quick sample from the inbox:
“There is [...]

When Nick Vincent isn’t laying down his pimp hand down on a fine piece of underage brisket, he likes to break bread with his good friends Aaron, Tom, and Mike. Over a few Whynattes, of course.
Whynatte recieved the following photos from Nick Vincent’s assistant, Svetlana. Svetlana accompanied the photos with the following email:
“Mr. [...]

Whether you’re in the mood for braised cod, or looking for that perfect Whynatte, BluePointe restaurant does not dissapoint on either accord.
We went to BluePointe to celebrate the birthday of our friend Amy. Amy called me up, and told me that if I didn’t make it out for her birthday, she would “have my entire [...]

Location: Food 101, Atlanta.
1 screenprint of Sasquatch in bedroom: $54.5
3 shots of Jagermeister: $27
3 freshly brewed lattes: [...]

Two of my favorite playground games growing up were Just the Tip, and Shocker.
Because this is a family oriented Christian website, I can’t really go into too much detail regarding the rules of Just the Tip. I would hate for all of our advertisers to pull their lucrative spots. You can probably figure that one [...]

Every generation has been definted by the ideas of its time.
Our generation will be defined by its actions.
Many thanks to Crab Dance Video Productions for the following video. It’s safe to say that Crab Dance Productions is on the forefront of customized video technology. If you would like to contact Crab Dance Productions, feel free [...]

Lamborghini. Chrome Revolvers. Supermodel Girlfriends. Pet Panda. Lasers. Box Seats to Sporting Events. What do all of these things have in common?
Now that Whynatte’s made it big, the above list is a sample rundown of a few of the things that we have in our possession. But we’re [...]

In Turkmenistan, when a man turns 25, he is presented with a live cobra in what is known as the “cobra presentation ceremony”. If the cobra bites him, he will most likely die. If the man is able to tame the cobra, he will live happily for many years with a serpentine friend.
What [...]