WHYNATTE

Okay, let’s take a step back and get back to basics. Whynatte basics. While it’s fun to have celebrities wearing Whynatte shirts, and while it’s nice to have the financial ability to collect guns with silencers, at it’s core this is a website about sharing Whynattes with friends, and sharing this experience with [...]

Out with the old, in with the gnu.
Check out the new Whynatte store! Click on the “shop” tab above, and experience a new world of Whynatte shopping. We’re going to further customize the store, but for now it should be a lot more straight forward than the old store.
While you’re [...]

Before Michael Johns sang/tore open like a jaguar tearing open a baby gnu, his performance on American Idol last night, he took a minute to wear a Whynatte shirt on the show.
Michael sang the Dolly Parton’s It’s All Wrong, But It’s All Right, which is essentially the new Whynatte anthem song. I [...]

When you were kids, how many of you used to throw whole flounders at passing cars? We used to hide in the bushes at night, and sling those flat fish at cars as they came around the bend. And then, like all good activities, flounder prices skyrocketed, and we grew out of our [...]

Think about the last time that you had an Asian massage, and how nice it was to have those soft little hands caressing your body. The sound of wild dingos barking, and street vendors shouting, drowned out by the soothing ecstasy of relaxed muscles. Man, talk about great ways to spend that discretionary [...]

It’s hard to find a good cookie these days that doesn’t contain horse hooves. It seems like they’re putting hoof in just about everything these days; pudding, glue, bread, and of course, cookies.
Well, lucky for you, we’ve found a hoof-free cookie vendor, and her delicious cookies are available for mail order purchase. [...]

Clark didn’t realize that it was such a long stairway from the street up to Diana’s house. If he had known, he wouldn’t have left his bamboo flute in the car, but would have instead brought it along for the walk. Clark knows a pretty wide repertoire of flute songs, and it’s a [...]

Sometimes it’s good to post a few photos of sober people drinking Whynattes, so that the kids out there realize that you don’t have to get totally hammered to have a good time.
Like this photo of Motocross prodigy Jeff Tilton. One time I crashed my bicycle while trying to avoid riding over the curb. [...]

The rules have gotten pretty loose around Whynatte. It used to be that you had to be drinking a Whynatte to have your photo posted on the site. At some point we started posting photos of people that were simply wearing Whynatte clothing, as long as the photo was taken outside of the [...]

Congratulations to Michael Johns, who just made his way into the Top 10 on American Idol. Michael wearing a Whynatte shirt is basically like Nike having LeBron in a pair of Nike shoes, only better, because LeBron can’t sing for shit.
Who wants guacamole?

While in Taipei on business, Clark shows off how to drink a steaming Whynatte with chopsticks.
Boy, that’s one hot looking latte that Clark is about to chopstick into! Thankfully we weave asbestos fibers into our shirts, making them heat resistant and flame retardant.

Okay, so I just got some tight new Whynatte shirts back from the printer. I’m about to run out the door to my lattes anonymous meeting, but the first person to email me at Jesse@whynatte.com will receive a free shirt in the mail.
Make sure to include your size, and whether you’re male, [...]

As you may know, the majority of these posts are written by hard working call center employees in India. Even blogs aren’t immune from the global economic pressures that lead to outsourcing. The Whynatte business isn’t what it used to be, as they tend to say.
However, from time to time I [...]

You would never expect that the guy on the left is one of the biggest underground crustacean dealers in Los Angeles. But he is, and he didn’t get there without being ruthless. You might see him in the grocery store, buying yams. Or maybe he plays middle base on your intramural lutzball [...]

Paul is the kind of guy that makes people happy. Not happy in a “gives best sex in mouth” kind of way, but the kind of guy that people want to be around. He’s a born leader, the kind of guy that you’d take a small caliber bullet to the leg for. [...]